Hi, Me Again

I was afraid of this. Of getting my blog launched, going strong for a month or so, and then falling stagnant. And it happened.

Or did it?

I wasn't falling behind as much as life was changing directions. For the first time in over a year, I had the opportunity to join my local community's performing arts. My soul was fed kindness and energy on a daily basis by the type of face-to-face friends I craved during last year's lockdowns. So I fed all that energy right back into our show. For the first time in my life I balanced school, work, and performance. I was too busy living my life to reflect on it.

There's a misconception that a perfect balance exists. That you can be all things at all times, and if you aren't living that fully, you're a failure. I'm learning that your day doesn't have to be filled with all the things to be fulfilling. As opportunities and responsibilities shift, so do your priorities. Your routine today doesn't have to be the one you had five years ago or one month ago or even the one you'll create next week.

The Past Doesn't Dictate Your Present . . .

Habit is a powerful tool to keep you on track towards your goals, even during low-energy days or motivation slumps. However, flexibility is also important: when life takes a twist, we have to be willing to adapt. Circumstances, relationships, jobs, hobbies, health--they all change. Change makes me anxious, but it's so freeing to know I can grow from it. Different phases of life lead to different experiences. So embrace the phase of life you're in right now. Intentionally decide what you need to prioritize. Then decide when during your day or week you can implement those things. Bringing priorities to the front means letting non-priorities take a back seat. Change is inevitable, but how we adapt can be intentional.

. . . And Neither Does the Future

We can't grow unless we're challenged, but that doesn't mean every area of your life will grow at the same rate or even at the same time. When push comes to shove, I can juggle more responsibilities than my self-doubt thinks. Pushing ourselves to be happier, healthier versions of ourselves is awesome. But the fact remains that we're only given so much time and energy every day. When a door opens in one area of my life, I have to shift that energy from somewhere else. But just because you have to hit pause on something now doesn't mean you can't resume later. If something is meant for you, you'll make time for it again somewhere down the road.

Being the best version of you doesn't mean stretching yourself so thin over everything that you can't give your full attention to anything. That's when I burn out. Instead, balance means being honest with yourself about where to push and where to rest in this moment.

So here I am: recharging between college trimesters. A day or two of rest is all it takes to feel that itch to write. Instead of feeling guilty I couldn't blog then, I'm grateful I can blog now. The days are too short to cram in all the things that make you you. And life is too long to be boxed in by a single label. As life ebbs and flows, I won't always be able to write, but I'll never be stagnant.