Why?

I woke up several months ago and was moving through the first few minutes of my morning routine when an idea ignited my muddled and sleepy head: I should create a blog. Like most fresh ideas, this one sent my thoughts into a rush of inspiration that was barely any more solid than a daydream. Also like most fresh ideas, this initial excitement burned out pretty quickly. There's a big gap between inspiration and action, and standing in this gap is doubt. Was I really going to commit to this? I'd have to design a website. I didn't know how to do that. I'd actually have to post on it. That sounded daunting: me, wrestling the time out of my schedule to put some rambling thoughts on the Internet. Why would anyone want to read that?

Well, maybe no one will . . . but if you're reading this right now then it's proof that I tried. I didn't ignore my doubts - or my inspiration. I approached them both and weighed them both to decide which should have the final say. Not every idea that pops into our heads is going to be worth pursuing; not every project we start is going to get finished. My flurry of motivation to write a novel when I was ten fizzled out after about five chapters (thank goodness for that); my flurry of motivation to write a novel when I was twelve put down roots and I'm still chipping away at it to this day (if by some miracle I become an adored author, you can say you knew me from my first-blog-post days).

Naturally, that giddy moment of inspiration that says "you should" doesn't last long before the weight of actually doing it kicks in ; this makes it easy to get discouraged by other feelings that say "you can't". Truth is, feelings are fickle. The only way to really know if an idea is meant for you is to test the waters. Knock on that door. It'll take work and it'll feel uncomfortable. We have to plunge from the high point of inspiration into the slump of the unknown. It's vulnerable there. It's outside of our comfort zone. But once we make the uphill climb past inspiration and doubt, we've taken action. Then we can see clearly to judge results. Does the idea continue to speak to you after you've started pursuing it? Or does it not benefit you after all? You have the choice to commit to something if it's fulfilling. Or if it's not, to lay it aside for something better.

So here I go.

But why?

Why would anyone read this?

Writing is a form of therapy for me and so is connecting with other people. Life is constantly throwing new challenges my way. I try to grow through these challenges, to understand myself, to build healthy relationships, to push myself, to give myself grace, and to somehow fit in all the activities that truly fuel me. I get overwhelmed a lot. If any of that sounds like you, then I hope we'll get something out of this blog together. The whole reason I was inspired by this idea was to reach out with the lessons I'm learning and the art I'm crafting along my journey. I want to encourage you in your own journey, in your own insecurities, in your own special little moments. I don't have any world-changing aspirations, but I believe that each of us can make a positive impact on our own nooks of the world. If only one person manages to get something from my scribbles, then I'm thankful to share.

So I suppose that's why.

Let's see where this goes, shall we?